SHAME AND HUMILITY
Shame is a negative (i.e. painful and/or distressing) feeling that is tied to one’s evaluation of one’s own attributes and/or actions. Furthermore, shame is the emotion that arises from viewing oneself as lacking efficacy in both the actual (i.e. what one is/has done) and the potential (what one can be/do). On its own, such a state is based on a diminished or degraded sense of self-value, and thus, it points to something depriving oneself of the motive to act toward one’s own benefit effectively. Hence, on its own, it is a form despair directed toward one’s character and/or actions. Hence, like despair, it is a failure state that must be overcome, if one is in it.
Note that shame may naturally accompany constructive emotions such as guilt and regret, in which case the constructive motivations are caused not by the shame but by the guilt and/or regret. In this way, shame is similar to pain; it may naturally accompany constructive pursuits such as exercise, but on its own, it is debilitating and thus detrimental. Note that pain is also often a sign of a problem that must be addressed, and similarly, shame is often a sign of one’s bad premises about morality and/or one’s poor moral character and/or one’s faults, all of which must be addressed. Hence, note that the capacity to feel shame is valuable, one must never seek to bear one’s shame beyond the time it takes to address its causes.
NOTE. It is crucial to note that lacking the capacity to feel shame is not a good thing; it is as harmful to oneself, as it is to lack the capacity to feel pain, since by lacking the capacity, one would be blinded to the real problems that shame or pain would signal. After all, shame and pain are not primaries but effects of something more fundamental.
In my understanding, shame can be based either on invalid premises about one’s efficacy, or on regret about one’s past actions. Here, it is useful to note that the purpose of regret is to motivate one to correct for one’s faults and their results to the best of one’s ability. Regret for its own sake is self-punishment as an end in itself, and thus is irrational. Hence, the rational response to one’s own faults is not shame but regret that serves to spark one’s corrective actions, but that does not stay and fester in the form of self-punishment.
Humility is the quality of having low self-value, such that the one or more of the following holds true in one or more respects: (1) One’s values and judgements are subjugated to the values and judgements of others. (2) One neglects or undervalues one’s virtues. (3) One neglects or undermines one’s values. To be clear, accepting one’s faults and errors is a matter of objectivity, not humility, because to accept them upon understanding them is to follow one’s own judgement. On the other hand, to accept them without understanding them is a matter of humility. Hence, humility is a vice that must be overcome, if one has it.
NOTE: Learning from others is not a matter of humility but of a desire for knowledge, which is an extension of of objectivity and self-interest; after all, it is one’s own interest to learn what one can and not limit one’s potential for knowledge.
In conclusion, prolonged shame and adopted humility have no place in a rational life. In the place of shame, there must be a committment to morality, and in the place of humility, there must be a committment to objectivity. Speaking of shame, the capacity to feel shame is valuable, but shame on its own is a detriment to oneself. Speaking of humility, the capacity to accept one’s faults and errors, to defer to others if necessary and to learn from others is valuable, but must never come at the cost of one’s own values and judgement.
Related writings: